Cultivating Self-Love Through Yoga
Loving who you are, just as you are, is not something that needs to be earned or deserved—it’s your inherent right as a living being.
Self-love can be challenging, often making it difficult to recognize our own accomplishments and abilities. It’s curious how, at times, it can be so hard to love yourself, yet so easy to love others. There may also be concerns about being perceived as selfish, or worse, a narcissist. But self-love isn’t selfish, nor is it self-serving.
There’s a clear difference between narcissism and truly loving who you are. Narcissists believe they are inherently superior to others, whereas those who genuinely love themselves can also recognize greatness in everyone.(1) High self-esteem is a healthy attribute, one that’s encouraged by mental wellness experts. There’s even a scientific term for it: self-positivity bias, which refers to “a general fondness and love for oneself.”(6)
Fostering sincere self-love not only leads to better mental and physical health but also strengthens our sense of identity.(2)(4) In a Psychology Today article, Dr. Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D., describes self-love as “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.”(3) Yoga offers a direct path to self-love, with its eight-limb path beginning with the yamas—the first of which is ahimsa, or kindness. A yogi leads their life with kindness and love—not just toward others, but also toward themselves.
How to Practice Self-Love the Yogi Way
The yamas and niyamas are the first two limbs of the yogic path, and together, they guide how we engage with the world. There’s a reciprocal relationship between them—how we treat ourselves directly influences how we interact with the world around us. Both yamas and niyamas nurture self-love by guiding our actions and intentions.
The five yamas focus on our attitude toward others (and ourselves):
Ahimsa (kindness)
Satya (truthfulness)
Asteya (non-stealing/right use of time)
Brahmacharya (abstinence/right use of energy)
Aparigraha (non-hoarding)
The five niyamas address our attitude toward ourselves:
Saucha (cleanliness)
Santosha (contentment)
Tapas (discipline)
Svadhyaya (self-study)
Ishvara Pranidhana (surrender to a higher power)
How the Yamas and Niyamas Cultivate Self-Love
Give Yourself Grace
Ahimsa with Svadhyaya, Satya, and Aparigrapha
Kindness with Self-Reflection, Honesty, and Letting Go
Perfection doesn’t exist, yet we often promote it as an achievable life goal. While holding ourselves to a higher standard isn’t inherently bad, it can become unhealthy when taken to extremes.(4) Acting with ahimsa—kindness—is essential in everything we do. When we lead with kindness, we align with our higher self.
The practice of svadhyaya through journaling can be healing, but as we reflect on our behaviors and feelings, we must do so with ahimsa. Recognizing when our thought patterns shift from self-acceptance to shame or guilt provides valuable insight into why we act or think the way we do. Svadhyaya isn’t about self-criticism—it’s a safe space for reflection and healing. These moments are perfect opportunities to extend grace to ourselves.
However, honesty is necessary for growth—even if the truth stings a little. Giving yourself grace isn’t about letting yourself off the hook. When needed, hold yourself accountable, but also avoid punishing yourself. When you notice self-judgment, pause, observe, forgive yourself, and let it go.
Take Care of Your Physical Self
Saucha with Ahimsa, Tapas, and Satya
Cleanliness with Kindness, Discipline, and Honesty
The niyama saucha traditionally means "cleanliness," and a modern interpretation extends to taking care of our physical health. By choosing foods that nourish our bodies with nutrient-dense calories instead of overly processed options, we’re giving our bodies the tools they need to thrive—not just survive. Engaging in physical activity, rather than lounging, builds strength, resilience, and endurance—qualities that support us through life’s challenges. Practicing saucha begins with eating and moving with mindfulness and intention, though this can be easier said than done.
To see lasting results, dedication is key. But remember to practice grace—sometimes you need a break and a snack. It’s part of recharging and balancing your energy. Being kind and honest with yourself when making health decisions is crucial. With so much conflicting information about nutrition and fitness, it can be hard to know what’s best for you. Listen to your body. Taking time to research reputable sources and, when available, seeking professional advice can help cut through the noise.
Balance Your Energy
Svadhyaya with Ahimsa, Aseyta, Brahmacharya
Self-Reflection with Kindness, Honesty, and Right Use of Energy
Our energy is in constant flow—sometimes high, sometimes low, with occasional periods of depletion or overabundance. Writing in a journal provides a safe space to reflect honestly on where your energy is going and how you feel about it. Are you spending your time and energy to nourish yourself, or are you depleting yourself for others?
Svadhyaya offers the breathing room to discover what truly lights you up. It’s also a space where you can recognize what and who drains you, leaving you feeling exhausted. At times, it may be necessary to cut ties and move on, but in other situations, that may not be immediately possible. In these moments, be gentle with yourself. Transform negative energy into self-love by engaging in activities that nurture your physical and mental well-being. Self-reflection provides the insight you need to replenish your energy and restore balance.
Concluding Thoughts
Cultivating self-love involves intentional behaviors that nurture grace and self-care. Yoga provides a clear path to loving yourself and enhancing your self-esteem. There’s no need to feel guilty or ashamed for prioritizing yourself. Acts of self-love encourage mindfulness and deepen empathy for others.(5) By showing yourself compassion, you reduce stress, balance your energy, and strengthen your resilience. This not only makes you more available for those you love but also gives you more energy for the things you enjoy. Self-love is your right—you need no one’s permission.
Bibliography
1 - Campbell, W. Keith Campbell, Eric A. Rudich, Constantine Sedikides. “Narcissism, Self-Esteem, and the Positivity of Self-Views: Two Portraits of Self-Love.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 28, no. 3 (2002): 358-368.
2 - “Greater Self-Acceptance Improves Emotional Well-Being.” Harvard Health Publishing, May 16, 2016.
3 - Khoshaba, Deborah. “A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love.” Psychology Today, March 27, 2012.
4 - Seppala, Emma. “The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion.” The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) at Stanford University School of Medicine, May 8, 2014.
5 - “The Benefits of Self-Forgiveness.” Stanford Medicine, Scope: Beyond the Headlines, August 2, 2019.
6 - Zhang, Hua Zhang, Lili Guan, Mingming Qi, Juan Yang. “Self-Esteem Modulates the Time Course of Self-Positivity Bias in Explicit Self-Evaluation.” PLoS One 8, no. 12 (2013).
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